What's In a Name?

Below is a YouTube video is a spoken word poem by Shane Koyczan. It focuses on the name calling that went on at school when he was a child and that continues in schools around the world today. It is a powerful seven and a half minutes, beautifully written and dynamically illustrated. 

After watching the video, I took a few moments to think about my school experiences and name calling. My nickname, since I was a mere 3 weeks old, has been Bean. I received this name from my first babysitter's son, Danny, who couldn't yet say my name. Being from a very small town, the name stuck and I am still referred to as Bean in my hometown. I wholly embraced the name and it wasn't really a hot button for would be bullies, except for a spot of time when a boy named Mark took to yelling, "Beaner, wiener, carpet cleaner" across the playground. I'm still not sure what the rhyme meant, which is probably why it quickly fizzled out. 

I count myself among the lucky ones who had a nickname that didn't scar, and now try to duplicate the experience for others.  Having a nickname as a confidence booster seems abnormal, and that's the point. Sometimes the best way to eradicate a problem is to flip it on its end. 

Nicknames are stereotypically focused on the negative and used as a bullying tool. At summer camp, my team and I give nicknames that are a) approved by the receiver, and b) meant as a compliment. As we work at a leadership camp, we use the names as a tool to bring a camper out of their shell and into a leadership position. The name often doesn't make a lot of sense out of context, but within the small group of campers, means everything. For example, a few years ago a shy 14 year old boy, who was five inches taller than any of the other campers but hadn't fully grown into his height, walked into camp. We played a game in which he did as little as possible to participate, but ended up with mutton chops painted on his face (washable, non-toxic, biodegradable face paint meant for the game). We saw that the other campers took a positive interest in the addition to his hairline and dubbed him Mutton Chops. 

I know it seems silly, but the first time one of us said, "Hey, Mutton Chops!" it was like a light shone through him. In talking with him later, Mutton Chops, as odd of a nickname as it is, was an identifier of a time when he took a chance socially and was rewarded for it. The fact that his gamble was met with admiration gave him the confidence to try other things. 

It also helps that the campers see me and my team as role models. We try very hard to balance ourselves between authority figure meant to be listened to and respected and fun babysitter who dishes out candy and ignores bedtime. The position we have in our campers' lives is the key to our success. If they didn't look up to us, then the nickname trick wouldn't work - it would probably have the opposite effect. We understand and respect that if the dynamic were to unfortunately change, this tactic would have to be abandoned. But as long as our relationship continues to be positive and leading, it seems that a carefully placed nickname can be a good tool in giving kids the confidence to be themselves. 

As for Mutton Chops, he went from wallflower to spotlight seeker. As a senior in high school, he is highly involved in both his education and community. Today he is performing in a state competition for Healthcare Students of America, this weekend he'll be playing in his band, and this summer he'll be leading his own campers at the same place that brought him out of his shell. He has even grown an epic pair of mutton chops, which he wears with pride.